Anti Bullying Info for Parents

What is bullying?

• One person picks on another person
• It tends to happen more than once
• It is not accidental. The bullying is done on purpose

What does bullying behavior look like?

• PHYSICAL - Pushing, shoving, hitting, spitting...
• SOCIAL - The person doing the bullying makes the other feel left out
• VERBAL - The person doing the bullying uses words that hurt or make the other child feel ashamed, embarrassed, nervous, or afraid

What should children do if they are being bullied?

• Tell the person doing the bullying to stop, and walk away from the situation if the bullying behavior does not stop
• Tell someone you trust right away. This can be a parent, guardian, caregiver, teacher, or another grown-up you trust
• Avoid places where you might be alone with the person doing the bullying
• Remember that it isn't your fault if you are being bullied. You might be able to handle some situations on your own but there are other times when you will most definitely need an adult’s help

What can parents/caregivers do to help stop bullying?

• Some basic facts about the problem of bullying:
  • Bullying isn't just "kids being kid". Bullying is a pattern of repeated aggressive behavior, with negative intent, directed from one child to another where there is a power imbalance
  • Bullying can be physical or verbal, or can involve social alienation, intimidation, and threatening behavior. Adults are generally unaware of the extent of bullying among children and need to become educated around these issues.
  • Children who bully others often believe that the other child antagonized them and therefore caused the problem
  • Both boys and girls are involved in bullying at about the same rate, although their reasons and the way they do it might be different
  • Adults can and must play a role in preventing bullying
• What you can do to support your children
  • Children learn how to get along by watching adults. Model appropriate ways of getting along with others: showing empathy for others, managing angry feeling, accepting differences, and coping with peer pressure. Monitor your child's television watching. Discourage TV programs that model antisocial and aggressive behavior.
  • Help your child find ways to express anger that do not involve verbally or physically hurting others. When you get angry, use it as an opportunity to model these appropriate responses for your child, and talk about it.
  • Children learn by doing. Help your child develop interpersonal skills by providing opportunities for practice. Help your child think of and practice quick verbal comebacks to use when peers are teasing or being verbally abusive.
  • Teach your child how to stick up for himself or herself through assertive, not aggressive, behavior.
  • Involve your child in selected group activities that will enhance his or her interpersonal skills. Invite your child's friends to your home and have lots for them to do. Boredom and lack of supervision can breed bullying.
  • Discuss with your child examples of bullying that he or she notices on television, in video games, or in the neighborhood. Help your child understand the consequences of bullying. 
  • Teach your child problem-solving skills. Acknowledge your child when he or she follows through.
  • Help your child understand the value of accepting and celebrating individual differences.

• Children need adults
  • Ask your child about his or her relationships with friends and peers.
  • Encourage your child to tell you or another trusted adult if she or he is bullied or sees another child being bullied.
  • Keep lines of communication open with your child. Encourage your child to always let you know where and with whom he or she will be. Get to know your child's friends.
  • Intervene in bullying incidents. Make it clear to all the children involved that bullying will not be tolerated. Ensure that those being bullied are safe.
  • Inform school staff if your child tells you about bullying happening at school.
  • Learn more about the topic of bullying and share your knowledge with your child. There is a wealth of information for parents and children on bullying. Check your local library.
  • Talk to other parents.
  • Get involved in bullying-prevention efforts at your child's school.
  • Foster your child's self-esteem. A strong sense of self-worth can be a good defense against being pressured or bullied by peers.
  • Be alert to signs that your child is being bullied or might be bullying others, such as torn clothing, mysterious bruises, falling behind in school work, returning home to use the washroom, changes in behavior (e.g., angry outburst, fighting, behavior problems at school and in the neighborhood, lack of friends). Get help for your child. Talk with a school counselor or teacher.
  • Talk with your child about the school's discipline policy and the school plan for bullying prevention. Talk to your child about what she or he is learning in school about bullying.